Monday Night Rant: Vol 1

Tonight's rant will be about public transport. More specifically, public transport in London. While I enjoy the huge spectrum of wonderful people I see on my travels to and from work and find myself giggling at the lost tourists or just-got-a-big-job-in-London-town girls and boys ending up in Edgware when they meant to get to Waterloo; I do not enjoy the proportionally large number of morons I find myself dealing with. These include perverts, the inconsiderate and those who refuse to follow the rules.

Why oh why do people not obey the golden rule of the underground? Let people off before you push yourself and your 30 tonne suitcase through the doors. While you're at it, don't get your coat/scarf/arm trapped in the door. I'm late, you're making me later.

Why, when the train is completely empty, do you choose to sit next to me and read my paper? There's 500 discarded papers in this carriage. There's also 30 other free seats and a thing called breath mints.

Why do you choose to leave it until you reach the barriers before you retrieve your Oyster card/ticket from your wallet/bag/pocket? It almost always requires you to "Seek Assistance" anyway. Whilst I'm on this subject, how about NOT using my Oyster/ticket to let yourself through the barriers? It means I can't get through, you know...even though I've PAID for it.

How about realising when the train is full and waiting for the next one? We all have to do it at some point in our lives. I'd rather not have my face pushed into the sweaty armpit of a 73 year old whos never heard of deodorant just because you're impatient.

Spilling your coffee on my white coat DOES require you to apologise. You're lucky I don't send you a dry cleaning bill.

Just because the bus is full and someone is standing in the wheelchair/buggy area, doesn't mean you can demand to take up half the standing space with your buggy by giving us sinister looks and tutting. Notices say at busy times, they must be folded. Fold them or wait for the next bus please. Or put your baby in a wheelchair.

I really don't appreciate having to listen to your crappy taste in music when I've got a headache and the parent with the buggy is shoving it into the backs of my new boots.

Many thanks,

Chrissy xx